Compacted Ham in a Can.

I don’t understand the reasons people have for spamming us (me). I clicked into my Gmail yesterday, and I was surprised when eight out of fourteen messages were from the German Lottery. I know most people reading this are thinking, “That’s nothing. Once I opened my Yahoo! or Hotmail and I have 300 spam messages in my inbox. Beat that.” But if you put things in perspective, in the two years that I’ve had my Gmail, I’ve gotten all of twelve spam messages. So eight in a day is a lot.

And the worst part is trying to get rid of them. I was actually stupid enough to reply to one of them in an attempt to get myself off whatever satanic mailing list they’d scrawled my name in blood onto, but when I didn’t see an “unsubscribe” link or anything, I wrote them a pathetic little email that only made things worse:

“Stop emailing me.”

That was pretty much the extent of what my fourteen-year-old imagination could conjure up without getting into a very unlady-like cuss fight with the German Lottery.

Needless to say, when I opened my Gmail today, I had 27 messages from not only the German Lottery, but some Russian adoption agency and those idiots who really think I would believe that I won an Apple iPhone by not going to their sites.

And that’s when I did something I thought I’d never have to do again after I cancelled my Yahoo! two years ago: I marked them all as spam. That was a real hit on my sense of security, knowing that these people could find me, no matter how many holes I hide in (which I won’t do anymore after hearing that story about that family that suffocated in some manure hole. Very sad).

It’s like I can’t hide from these people!